meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize