in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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