Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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