Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
