i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dick very happy bro
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
