they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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