I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
