is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
