there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
