Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
