yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
