Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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