ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
