i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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