on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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