david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
