Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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