You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
