i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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