we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
