literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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