I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
