Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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