i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
