Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
