my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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