we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
