I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
