yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
