Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
