i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
