Christians are straight up FREAKS
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
