the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
