i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
