I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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