You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
