New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize