i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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