Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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