what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
