So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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