Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I want to walk on stilts...naked
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
