What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
