I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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