I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
