My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
