Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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