Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
