it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize