Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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