paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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