The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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