Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
