I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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