do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize