I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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