remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
