My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
