love makes seman taste better
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
