used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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