so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize