Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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