I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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