And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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