I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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