Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
